Confessions of a Woman Getting to her Best Self

I must confess ... I haven't been my best self. My best self is a bad ass woman. She can cook, clean, pay bills, make love to her man, handle her business at work, maintain her close friendships and still be actively social. As of late, I'm not of those things, at least not all at the same time. It's almost as if I can accomplish some of those things at the same time but doing them all at the same time is just outside my reach. And it's not because I don't want to. I think I am finding that now that I am close to 30, I'm prioritizing what is truly important and what I really could care less about. For example, I'd rather get more involved in what my sorority is doing or what my church is doing rather than hang out at clubs. I'd rather spend my quiet time in the library than at some loud ass party where I don't know anybody. I'd actually rather spend time at home than out with a bunch of strangers. It doesn't mean that I don't want to get to know new people. It's not a bad thing, again I'm just changing my priorities. It came to me when I went to church this morning. Our church had a visiting preacher come in and he said something that struck me. He said, "Do you want to be whole? Do you want to be your best self. Because you can't be your best self unless you are whole." Wholeness is something that I've been working to achieve because it isn't something that can occur with someone, as many people tend to believe when they get married. It has to be something that occurs no matter whose around or what's happening. It's a work in progress. I think you realize that you are whole when you wake up one morning and you just feel complete. For some, it happens almost instantly. For others, like myself, it's a constant progress. It's changing your hair here, or meditating there or trying something new here. I believe getting to your best self means that the new experiences test you, stretch you and you adjust. I've been ready to get to my best self. Now's the day.

Three months after the wedding and people are still mad

I have come to accept the fact that people will not ever be satifisfied with what you do, not today, not tomorrow, not ever. People really have stopped talking to us because of the wedding, all because they did not get an invitation. Nobody seems to realize or understand how difficult it was for us to even get married. My husband and I had a hard enough time making it to the day of the wedding. We almost called it off the night before. We argued up until our wedding day and folks are in my tail about a frickin' invitation from three months ago? Please! I guess I'm at that point in my life, seeing that I'm closer to 30 than I've ever been, that I get it that I can't please everybody, no matter how hard I try. So I've chosen to make me and my household happy. You know why? Because we were the most important people at the wedding .....

My new role as a puppy mom

I want to first off say that being a parent is probably one of the hardest, non-paying jobs any person can have. To have a child that you birth, raise and pray to God you don't mess up as they grown up is probably both humbling and exciting. I look forward to the day when I tell my husband that we're pregnant. In the mean time, we're getting practice with our baby Shih Tzu, Lucky. Lucky is an anomaly of sorts. He and his brother Milo were the runts of their litter. They started off with one another and over time, Lucky grew to be a little bigger than his brother. He ate more food, took more of his pay stuff, pretty much did everything big brothers do. When we brought him home, I couldn't stand to be apart from him. I think that lasted about a week or so. Don't get me wrong, I still love and absolutely adore my puppy, but I find that his ways and the ways of a child that is still trying to learn the world, are a little trying. Our puppy is much like a little boy, excited about things like string and dirt, hates baths and would rather be around Dad than Mom, until Dad yells, then he would rather be around Mom than Dad. Potty training has been interesting because he can't quite seem to pee and poop in the same place. We get close, we celebrate it, and then he messes the carpet again. Of course my husband yells and raises alot of fuss, while I just clean it up and try to find a creative way to get him to poop closer to his potty training pads. He'd much rather play around than eat but then he whines when hes hungry. And yes around 9:30 at night, our puppy has his bedtime, and yes he raises a fit, much like a little boy would do. So I have to ask myself, is this preparing me for impending motherhood? Probably so, but I'd rather try it out on my dog and have it work, than to possibly mess up my actual son. However, I do think that once I lick Lucky and his habits, breaking my husband won't be so hard.

A Happy Marriage .... what is it made of?

To be honest, I don't know. It doesn't matter how many books are read, or seminars taken or advice saught; it means nothing if nobody is happy.