Confessions of a Woman Getting to her Best Self

I must confess ... I haven't been my best self. My best self is a bad ass woman. She can cook, clean, pay bills, make love to her man, handle her business at work, maintain her close friendships and still be actively social. As of late, I'm not of those things, at least not all at the same time. It's almost as if I can accomplish some of those things at the same time but doing them all at the same time is just outside my reach. And it's not because I don't want to. I think I am finding that now that I am close to 30, I'm prioritizing what is truly important and what I really could care less about. For example, I'd rather get more involved in what my sorority is doing or what my church is doing rather than hang out at clubs. I'd rather spend my quiet time in the library than at some loud ass party where I don't know anybody. I'd actually rather spend time at home than out with a bunch of strangers. It doesn't mean that I don't want to get to know new people. It's not a bad thing, again I'm just changing my priorities. It came to me when I went to church this morning. Our church had a visiting preacher come in and he said something that struck me. He said, "Do you want to be whole? Do you want to be your best self. Because you can't be your best self unless you are whole." Wholeness is something that I've been working to achieve because it isn't something that can occur with someone, as many people tend to believe when they get married. It has to be something that occurs no matter whose around or what's happening. It's a work in progress. I think you realize that you are whole when you wake up one morning and you just feel complete. For some, it happens almost instantly. For others, like myself, it's a constant progress. It's changing your hair here, or meditating there or trying something new here. I believe getting to your best self means that the new experiences test you, stretch you and you adjust. I've been ready to get to my best self. Now's the day.