Been married six months and ...

the conversation has turned to children. Let me make this clear .... I do want children. For a long time in my life I knew that I wanted to have children, an extension of myself walking around. Of course though, I had this life plan built since I was 8 or so with plans to go to college, work a good job, find a great guy, get married to that great guy, get a house, get a pet and have a baby. For the most part, I've done that, but my original plan was to have all of that happen by the time I was 25. And by 25 I mean have all of that done by 25 with baby #2 coming along right about now. So clearly everything didn't go as planned, of course. Everything fell where it was supposed to fall. But here I am at 29 seriously thinking about children, along with a PhD program and home repairs. I read in a previous blog that you are never really truly "yourself" after you have big events happen to you, be them good or bad. I believe I've been altered along with the many big changes that have happened in my life. When I think back, the Caryn at 5 years old is different from the one at 15 who is definitely different from the one at 25. The woman that I am right now, I'm sure she will be different in another 331 days. But kids? Even at the point where I am right now, I just got good being the mom of a shih tzu dog. Maybe I'm putting too much pressure on myself. I spent the past 13 years of my life doing everything I could to not get pregnant and here I am wanting to have a baby. I hope that I can do it and still be able to hold on to a piece of who I am, but I already know, that too will change.