This weekend I went on a date with Jaime. We had a pretty good time with one another. We both left our cellphones at my house. He and I went to the theater and saw "Mr. and Mrs. Smith." We talked and laughed and shared popcorn and sour patch kids. I was actually at home before 1am. It was a very nice and easy first date. We went ahead and made plans to go go-kart racing the following Sunday.
The following day, I called my best friend Courtney and her husband David and told them about my date with Jaime and basically got reemed for going out on a date. Actually I was reemed by David, Courtney just sat and agreed. "You have an emotional deficit and now someone gets to fill it without you having to put anything into it," said David the psychiatrist. "You've been hurt so much by men that not only do the people you hook up with are long distance and emotionally distant, but you put all of your energy into them and you don't get replenished by them." And just like that, I felt guilty. It was almost immediate. Just a movie- that's all it was, but when is a movie more than a movie? Apparently when the guy you like is currently liking you a little more than you are liking him at the moment.
Don't get me wrong, I sincerely like Jaime, but I also know that after what happened with Jon, I'm nowhere close to feeling like I want or need to be in a relationship with someone right now. Now maybe I'm using work and/or school as an excuse, but I need to get myself together first before trying to include someone in my life.
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